Dream Chaser

I made a very big step in fulfilling one of my life dreams this week, I bought airplane tickets.  

Traveling has always been one of my greatest addictions in life, stemming from a lucky childhood of summer and winter vacations exploring new and exciting places.  The only limitation? I've never been abroad. 

About two and a half years ago, I had an epiphany.  After just graduating college and a simultaneous soul-shattering breakup, I decided California just wasn't cutting it out for me and the world was awaiting with so many possibilities.  In my delirious haze, I nearly bought a one way ticket to Europe, a dream that has always held vivid in my mind.  I talked myself out of making such a rash decision, reasoning a young girl alone abroad wasn't the smartest idea, but decided instead to start with the continental USA.  And now, two and a half years later, I am thankful and happy to say I have fulfilled that prophecy.  After two cross-country road trips, a mountainous pause, several national parks, and an extended tropical working holiday, I realized it was finally time to fulfill my travel dreams.  The most beautiful part about this next chapter of adventure is, because of the last few years, I now have an abundance of international friends whom I call family to share the journey with.

That being said, the time has finally come where my long awaited dream was being put to action.  I found myself hesitating as I sat on my bed, Skyping with my British girlfriend, as we prepared to purchase our flights.  After months of talking and planning, today was the day it would all come into fruition, when the money would speak louder than the daydreams.  I found my hand lingering over the "finalize checkout" button as the price of what I was about to do flashed boldly in front of me. In that moment, I began to wonder, what was I so afraid of?

In a short lifetime where everyday is filled with choices, why is it we always tend to follow the choices that are the most comfortable, even when our dreams are at stake?  I realized that to have dreams is one thing, but actually having the courage to pursue them despite all the odds, at whatever the cost, is an entirely different beast.  I can't help but wonder just how many people are lingering over their "finalize checkout" buttons as each new opportunity toward their goal fulfillment arises and at what sacrifice?  Soul-searching can be a scary, uncharted territory if not handled with caution.  Our minds and emotions are notorious for taking control, even when our hearts know with full sincerity the way. It seems there are two scary obstacles that need overcoming: 1) The acknowledgement of true hearts desire and 2) Setting action into motion.

As I've started to pay more attention to the conversations of friends and even strangers around me, I've come to notice that fear is a mass underlying of all concerns expressed: "Will I find a job pursuing what I love? Does his/her love make me happy? Will I succeed in life with what I'm doing?" There are many expressed fears standing in our way each day, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed.  But the reality of it all is that there is only one obstacle: ourselves. In life and love, there are moments when are true desires are placed in front of us for the grabbing, and often times, we'll talk ourselves out of it.  It makes me wonder if we are all addicted to the chase, so much that even when it's right in front of us, we'd rather stick to the comfort of the "what-ifs" rather than the fear behind "Why not?" A broken heart, lost job, missed payment all become excuses as to why we shouldn't jump at the opportunity laid before us.  If the risk isn't taken, than the potential pain won't be endured, right? It's as if the sheer comfort of being at sub-par is fulfillment enough, and dreams are just a vision to be entertained at our lowest moments. Why does mediocrity have to be the reality? Why are we all so afraid at grabbing our destiny, even when it's right before us?

I look at the picture posted above and see the spirit and hope in my friend's eyes and know that for myself, regardless of where I go and how my adventure may pan out, I know that in the end, I will always have the love and support from the friends I've made and the ones soon to be made around the world. And that to me, is worth more than any number of flights.  I finalized my purchase and now look ahead with anxiousness, not from fear of the unknown, but excitement to discover what new and wondrous opportunities will emerge from being able to fulfill my life's dream.  It definitely may be a scary leap jumping into the unknown, but how else will you find out what's waiting on the other side?

Embracing Wild Flower(s)

My mother once told me a story of how I adopted my nicknames; a name that has forever stuck in the recesses of my fond memories.  When I was about 3 years old, my mother took me to pickup my older sister from elementary school.  As we waited outside on the lawn for the bell to ring, I ran around happily picking daffodils and dandelions hidden in the grass, presenting them to my mother with pride.  From that day on, she  dubbed me her "Flower."  It's no coincidence that nickname has held throughout the years with the prefix "Wild" a newer addition. 

Now, 21 years later, this story crossed my mind as I hiked a nature trail behind Glendale's Brand Library.  I couldn't help but stop every so often to smell the wildflowers or take a picture such as the one above.  As I hiked and stopped, smelled, and smiled, another thought crossed my mind, have I been embracing the Wild Flower that was inherently within me or have I been acting as someone else to please others?

I started to contemplate the definition and derogatory connotation usually saved for descriptive words such as hippie, free spirit, flower child, and couldn't help but wonder if I had been running from my true self, worrying all along at what others might think if I truly did embrace my inner hippie.  Furthermore, I started wondering how many people in today's society were day-in and day-out struggling with the same identity crisis, trying to fit into a rigid mold, too afraid to accept and fly the colors of their own inner uniqueness. 

With these thoughts in mind, I came across this quote and was struck by its sentiment:

 Considering the source of these words comes from arguably the scientific geniuses of all time and can be interpreted in many different scenarios, I choose to think Einstein is advising each and everyone of us to embrace our individuality and go forth into the scary unknown, despite what the masses advise.  The interesting part of this whole scenario is that lately, I have had all to many conversations embedded with fear and uncertainty when the topic of following your dreams has arisen.  It's amazing just how many people are so easily attracted to following the sheepish path laid out by some dictating society, and how fearful they are of even fathoming attempting the unknown toward fulfilling their dreams.  I've heard all too many heartbreaking phrases such as, "Maybe one day." "If I continue to work hard enough it will happen." "I don't understand how it could be possible, I just have too many responsibilities to even think about doing something like that."  

The most saddening part about these conversations is the arbitrary "that" they all speak of and brush off is their life dreams.  It's as if merely wishing for the delivery of the day when all their dreams come true is happiness enough, lost in a daydream that gets swept aside as the next man-made errand rears it's ugly head.  Now please, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say being responsible is being stupid, but with time constantly ticking away and years flying by, at what point does a person realize the responsibilities they're hiding behind are actually fearful excuses for not fulfilling their life's purpose? And also truly understanding and embracing that their dream may be unique and different to those of everyone else. In a world made up of so many beautifully unique, quirky people, why have responsibilities replaced dreams and society replaced individuality? The sun will rise and it will set and each day we get another present to experience the natural phenomenon that is an individual life. But those fleeting days are passing by, whether we acknowledge them or not.  

As I watched the sun set from my mountainous perch amongst the flowers and trees, I made a promise to myself to continue to try and embrace my inner Flower, my free spirit, and to continue forth living my life as a dandelion, caught in the wind, traveling to my next dream's destination without so much as a glance toward the scared naysayers.  It's my life, I'll do as I please with it.  You have one too, what will you do with your gift?

Out of Control

A friend and I made a huge discovery at the Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific the other day, we found Nemo.

Only when several Nemo's popped out of various crevices in the giant tropical tank did yelling "found him!" finally get old.  Between searches for Nemo, making silly faces in the reflection of the tanks, and two-finger petting of all sorts of sea creatures, I enlightened on a thought that has got me wondering; if all creatures on Earth are one and the same in terms of creation, what parts of our lives our out of our control and at what point do we just let go?

I'm sure you're wondering how in the world I came to that pondering while gaping at fish and how the two correlate.  Well, as I watched the fish in their enclosed worlds of life captivity, it dawned on me that: 1. They had no control of where they were going to live out the rest of their short lives and 2. I'm pretty sure none of them were all the wiser, nor really knew to care.  I know animal sensibilities and memory spans in comparison to humans is a whole scientific debate and varies from creature to creature, but as I watched the fish, I concluded that humans are also seemingly floating in captivity in our own respective lives and wondered how much control we really have over everyday occurrences and at what point do we stop caring?

An insert taken from an article entitled  10 Things to Stop Caring About delves more into this idea:

Stop caring about things you can’t control.

"Some forces are out of your control.  Accept this fact of life.  Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.
The smartest thing you can do to compensate for the things you can’t control is adjusting your attitude.  Your attitude has a profound effect on your overall potential.  Consuming yourself with the negative aspects of a circumstance gets nothing productive accomplished.  But if you instead look at the circumstance productively and positively, coming from the standpoint of “What’s my next best move?” you put yourself back in the driver’s seat."

I wholeheartedly agree with this well-written piece of advice and can't help but wonder in what regards do we deem a situation out of our control? Aside from very obvious situations in life such as waiting on the actions of a person(s) that affect your choices and decisions, when do we drop the reigns and admit control defeat? There are so many aspects of our lives that we're constantly trying to push and prod and make pliable to the paths blueprinted to memory.  But how many of us have had unexpected obstacles, turn of events, or completely reversals change our direction? Whether defined as fate, karma, or any other spiritual explanation for these occurrences, what-if our memory-spans are simply instances in the grand scheme of infinite time, and essentially the important life-provoking thoughts and plans we have are really fleeting moments passing through us like fish floating in a tank, waiting for the next big thing to happen?

Food for thought.

Stop waiting, make it happen!

Today it dawned on me that I've been harboring a secret love affair, a love affair and addiction for life.

Along with this was the realization that I've been a supreme advocate for positivity, fulfilling life's desires and risking it all for making your dreams come true for so long that it has all started to meld into one rote saying after another.  There are endless quotes, videos, and books about seizing the moment and making the most out of each day to fulfill your life's dreams. And as fantastic as these notions are, I realized listening to this advice was one thing, but actually fulfilling the age old adage, actions speak louder than word, was an entirely different beast.

Lately, I've discovered that in this new age society influenced by The Secret, Law of Attraction, and the not so new notion of putting your faith in "God," it's become easier to trigger your train of thought to think positively, but actually believing the words and putting them into existence is a whole different monster.  With this in mind, I decided to put my thoughts into action and test my new-found epiphany wondering if it was easier to have open faith without the risk of broken expectations.

Waking up this morning, I had the resolve to inherently believe that everything I wanted in life I already encompassed, and that the only thing stopping me from living my desired life, was my own mind.  I decided to do as the picture quote above states: stop waiting for things to happen and go out and make them happen.  The worries I had been harboring were answered and my fears for my unknown future were put to rest, even if just momentarily.  I definitely had a greater sense of confidence, peace and a feeling that everything was in fact going to be "OK." All of my pending worries seemed like trivial curiosities of a future yet to come into fruition.  The action I chose to employ was to take control of my mind, suppressing most of the negative thoughts that haunt each and everyone of us every day, such as; Am I good enough? Will I be successful? Will I be able to pay my bills this month? Does he/she really love me? Along with these lay a giant plethora more of overbearing and unkind thoughts waiting to invade our minds and empower our beings the second we let them.  

The truth of the matter is, we can never know the answers to these questions and even when one question is fulfilled, there will always be another to take its place.  For in this society, nothing is ever enough and true happiness will never be reached as long as these thoughts control our actions. All we can ever really do is stop, take a breath, and consciously attempt to suppress our hindering thoughts for more uplifting and positive goals that can be reached through action. 

This notion is definitely easier said than done, but with enough practice and peaceful resolve, each and everyone of us can become brave enough to fully grasp and hold onto dreams that can infact be fulfilled in this one lifetime.  The sun rises and sets each day, presenting a new opportunity for another chance.  Take that present, that gift, and run with it.  Know that you can do it, you are good enough, and you will forever be successful as long as you follow your heart and focus your thoughts on embracing positivity, your unique self, your ultimate being.  You may have only got ONE life, but you definitely have many chances to start living it.

Caged In

Today was a glorious sunny day in SoCal, a day reminiscent of the middle of summer, even though it's the 5th of January. My Aunt and I spent this beautiful day at the LA Zoo, a dynamic and incredible habitat to some very interesting creatures from all over the world. But after walking around and looking at the sights for some time, it became apparent that the most intriguing of all animals to watch was in fact, the humans.

Despite the exotic animals, beautiful settings, and glorious weather, I couldn't help but notice the different species of humans that milled about in all of their unique glory.  There were obnoxious children, frantic parents, exhausted teachers, flirtatious teens, and the occasional lovestruck couples scattered about, all noticeably trying to avoid the other niches for being foreign to their comfort zones.

Yet, the moment that really struck me in this sensory overload of human trafficking, was the snapshot taken above.  Among a throng of anxious onlookers, these 3 chimpanzee's seemed to just exist and exude peace.  It was at this moment I started to wonder if we were the ones observing them or if in actuality, it were the other way around.  As noticeably framed above, the direct comparison of the 3 onlookers directly mirrors the position of the chimps.  The mother is lovingly cradling her child, while her older daughter sits intimately close nearby.  The most incredible aspect of the scene to me was how chaotic the world outside the gate was in comparison to the peace and tranquilly on the supposed "caged" side.  It really makes me wonder if animals, in all their seemingly inferior wisdom, really do have life figured out.  They truly enjoy each simple pleasure life has to offer, as it's unfolding before them and seem to do so without a worry in the world.

I know the glaringly obvious facts of human life vs animal life are more complex then I'm delving into here, but facts aside, the epiphany I gained from the few moments I got to spend with this little family taught me the invaluable lesson that life is only as difficult or as simple as we make it.  We have the ultimate choice whether we want to struggle on the popular side of the fence, fighting with the rest of the crowd, or consciously choosing the greener, less trodden side of being more observant, patient, and accepting of each cherished moment life bestows upon us.  Maybe humans really aren't the superior race, but in fact inferior is not embodying what animals have known forever: life in all of it's parts, is meant to be loved, enjoyed and lived, not a chaotic race toward the finish line.

Happiness is...

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung 

into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.  

~Jean Houston

I definitely can't take credit for taking this photo of the day, but seeing it gave me so much joy that I just had to share it.

Looking at this picture I can't help but smile and think, wow, children and animals really do have it figured out.  I don't know the story behind the shot, but I can't help but giggle every time I look at it.  The joy on both faces are so pure and genuine, a perfect image reminder that life is too short to take too seriously, and that no matter what each day holds, we hold the power to control our own emotional responses, choosing whether to stew in misery or...just laugh.

When in doubt or feeling low, think back to this picture, at the pure joy of being as free as a child;  laughing, playing, creating, exploring with no other motive except to just live. Find joy in every day pleasures, fleeting moments, simple satisfactions that trigger smiles from memory.  For at the end of it all, life is a series of memories we can either dwell on in regret, or throwing all caution to the wind, toss our heads back in laughter as we remember each moment that brought joy and happiness. An image unhindered by stress and man-made pressures, as free as a child playing beside her pet camel, both encompassing pure peace, tranquility, and happiness in all it's glory. Smile...everything is going to be OK.