Dream Chaser

I made a very big step in fulfilling one of my life dreams this week, I bought airplane tickets.  

Traveling has always been one of my greatest addictions in life, stemming from a lucky childhood of summer and winter vacations exploring new and exciting places.  The only limitation? I've never been abroad. 

About two and a half years ago, I had an epiphany.  After just graduating college and a simultaneous soul-shattering breakup, I decided California just wasn't cutting it out for me and the world was awaiting with so many possibilities.  In my delirious haze, I nearly bought a one way ticket to Europe, a dream that has always held vivid in my mind.  I talked myself out of making such a rash decision, reasoning a young girl alone abroad wasn't the smartest idea, but decided instead to start with the continental USA.  And now, two and a half years later, I am thankful and happy to say I have fulfilled that prophecy.  After two cross-country road trips, a mountainous pause, several national parks, and an extended tropical working holiday, I realized it was finally time to fulfill my travel dreams.  The most beautiful part about this next chapter of adventure is, because of the last few years, I now have an abundance of international friends whom I call family to share the journey with.

That being said, the time has finally come where my long awaited dream was being put to action.  I found myself hesitating as I sat on my bed, Skyping with my British girlfriend, as we prepared to purchase our flights.  After months of talking and planning, today was the day it would all come into fruition, when the money would speak louder than the daydreams.  I found my hand lingering over the "finalize checkout" button as the price of what I was about to do flashed boldly in front of me. In that moment, I began to wonder, what was I so afraid of?

In a short lifetime where everyday is filled with choices, why is it we always tend to follow the choices that are the most comfortable, even when our dreams are at stake?  I realized that to have dreams is one thing, but actually having the courage to pursue them despite all the odds, at whatever the cost, is an entirely different beast.  I can't help but wonder just how many people are lingering over their "finalize checkout" buttons as each new opportunity toward their goal fulfillment arises and at what sacrifice?  Soul-searching can be a scary, uncharted territory if not handled with caution.  Our minds and emotions are notorious for taking control, even when our hearts know with full sincerity the way. It seems there are two scary obstacles that need overcoming: 1) The acknowledgement of true hearts desire and 2) Setting action into motion.

As I've started to pay more attention to the conversations of friends and even strangers around me, I've come to notice that fear is a mass underlying of all concerns expressed: "Will I find a job pursuing what I love? Does his/her love make me happy? Will I succeed in life with what I'm doing?" There are many expressed fears standing in our way each day, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed.  But the reality of it all is that there is only one obstacle: ourselves. In life and love, there are moments when are true desires are placed in front of us for the grabbing, and often times, we'll talk ourselves out of it.  It makes me wonder if we are all addicted to the chase, so much that even when it's right in front of us, we'd rather stick to the comfort of the "what-ifs" rather than the fear behind "Why not?" A broken heart, lost job, missed payment all become excuses as to why we shouldn't jump at the opportunity laid before us.  If the risk isn't taken, than the potential pain won't be endured, right? It's as if the sheer comfort of being at sub-par is fulfillment enough, and dreams are just a vision to be entertained at our lowest moments. Why does mediocrity have to be the reality? Why are we all so afraid at grabbing our destiny, even when it's right before us?

I look at the picture posted above and see the spirit and hope in my friend's eyes and know that for myself, regardless of where I go and how my adventure may pan out, I know that in the end, I will always have the love and support from the friends I've made and the ones soon to be made around the world. And that to me, is worth more than any number of flights.  I finalized my purchase and now look ahead with anxiousness, not from fear of the unknown, but excitement to discover what new and wondrous opportunities will emerge from being able to fulfill my life's dream.  It definitely may be a scary leap jumping into the unknown, but how else will you find out what's waiting on the other side?

Embracing Wild Flower(s)

My mother once told me a story of how I adopted my nicknames; a name that has forever stuck in the recesses of my fond memories.  When I was about 3 years old, my mother took me to pickup my older sister from elementary school.  As we waited outside on the lawn for the bell to ring, I ran around happily picking daffodils and dandelions hidden in the grass, presenting them to my mother with pride.  From that day on, she  dubbed me her "Flower."  It's no coincidence that nickname has held throughout the years with the prefix "Wild" a newer addition. 

Now, 21 years later, this story crossed my mind as I hiked a nature trail behind Glendale's Brand Library.  I couldn't help but stop every so often to smell the wildflowers or take a picture such as the one above.  As I hiked and stopped, smelled, and smiled, another thought crossed my mind, have I been embracing the Wild Flower that was inherently within me or have I been acting as someone else to please others?

I started to contemplate the definition and derogatory connotation usually saved for descriptive words such as hippie, free spirit, flower child, and couldn't help but wonder if I had been running from my true self, worrying all along at what others might think if I truly did embrace my inner hippie.  Furthermore, I started wondering how many people in today's society were day-in and day-out struggling with the same identity crisis, trying to fit into a rigid mold, too afraid to accept and fly the colors of their own inner uniqueness. 

With these thoughts in mind, I came across this quote and was struck by its sentiment:

 Considering the source of these words comes from arguably the scientific geniuses of all time and can be interpreted in many different scenarios, I choose to think Einstein is advising each and everyone of us to embrace our individuality and go forth into the scary unknown, despite what the masses advise.  The interesting part of this whole scenario is that lately, I have had all to many conversations embedded with fear and uncertainty when the topic of following your dreams has arisen.  It's amazing just how many people are so easily attracted to following the sheepish path laid out by some dictating society, and how fearful they are of even fathoming attempting the unknown toward fulfilling their dreams.  I've heard all too many heartbreaking phrases such as, "Maybe one day." "If I continue to work hard enough it will happen." "I don't understand how it could be possible, I just have too many responsibilities to even think about doing something like that."  

The most saddening part about these conversations is the arbitrary "that" they all speak of and brush off is their life dreams.  It's as if merely wishing for the delivery of the day when all their dreams come true is happiness enough, lost in a daydream that gets swept aside as the next man-made errand rears it's ugly head.  Now please, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say being responsible is being stupid, but with time constantly ticking away and years flying by, at what point does a person realize the responsibilities they're hiding behind are actually fearful excuses for not fulfilling their life's purpose? And also truly understanding and embracing that their dream may be unique and different to those of everyone else. In a world made up of so many beautifully unique, quirky people, why have responsibilities replaced dreams and society replaced individuality? The sun will rise and it will set and each day we get another present to experience the natural phenomenon that is an individual life. But those fleeting days are passing by, whether we acknowledge them or not.  

As I watched the sun set from my mountainous perch amongst the flowers and trees, I made a promise to myself to continue to try and embrace my inner Flower, my free spirit, and to continue forth living my life as a dandelion, caught in the wind, traveling to my next dream's destination without so much as a glance toward the scared naysayers.  It's my life, I'll do as I please with it.  You have one too, what will you do with your gift?